


I Get To Love You: Part 1

by parabacrybaby



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Malec, M/M, Malec, Malec Fluff, Malec as parents, Other, Some angst, i like cutesy fics sorry not sorry, madzie lightwood-bane - Freeform, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-09-22 17:58:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9618794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parabacrybaby/pseuds/parabacrybaby
Summary: It starts off of the end of episode 2x05 "Dust and Shadows", and goes from there. I'm also cleaning up Toad's mess with not having Clary not telling Alec its not his fault.





	1. Forgiven

**Author's Note:**

> It starts off of the end of episode 2x05 "Dust and Shadows", and goes from there. I'm also cleaning up Toad's mess with not having Clary not telling Alec its not his fault.

Alec was exhausted. It was finally time to admit it.

Despite any aggravation he had originally had towards Clary since her arrival, this was probably the most drained he had ever felt. The stress of chasing after her and Jace, rescuing Simon, cleaning up all of the messes he couldn't control—even standing up Lydia at their wedding—was nothing compared to the deep, hollowing guilt he still felt for murdering Jocelyn.

_It's not your fault._

That's what everyone is saying, that's what he keeps trying to tell himself.

_It's not your fault._

He clenched his injured hand. The pain was not as much as before, but a small shot of electricity shot up his arm. Alec still hadn't used an iratze on himself yet, instead letting his hand heal naturally. It comforted him to feel some sort of punishment despite what everyone had told him. The ceremony had come to a close about 10 minutes ago. Everyone had already filed out of the room. Everyone except him and Clary. She had calmed down a great deal since Jace had walked her over and stood beside him and Izzy, and was now standing next to the slab where Jocelyn's body had once lain. Her hand placed gently on the cold, white marble, almost as if she was trying to feel the echoes of her mother's body.

Alec wasn't even sure if Clary knew he was still standing there. He didn't even realize _he_ was for a solid 5 minutes, and after he snapped out of dissociating he felt too rude to walk out in case Clary knew he was there. It was starting to feel weird now, almost to where he felt like he was invading her privacy, like this was some silent conversation he wasn't meant to be overhearing. Alec sniffles and wipes some loose tears off of his chin and begins to turn around and head for the door.

"A- Alec," Clary stutters. He stops and turns to face her back again, holding his hands behind his back. He's never heard her stutter before. Usually that's his job. Clary turns her head slightly to look over her shoulder, seeing if he actually stayed or had continued walking.

"It wasn't your fault. I never said that before, and I know you've been tearing yourself up about it. I should have said it earlier. I'm sorry for that," She turns around to face him, her eyes puffy and as red as her flaming hair.

"Clary, y- you don't need to—" He stammered

"I'm not done. I forgive you Alec. I know you did nothing wrong but I know you're not going to give yourself a break until you heard that. _It's not your fault and I forgive you."_ She begins walking towards him and stops to put her hand on his shoulder. Clary smiles and continues out of the room.

 _It's not your fault._ His brain repeats again, almost like a mantra at this point. His breath staggers.

_It's not your fault and I forgive you._

 


	2. Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alec comes to magnus about madzie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasnt sure where to put the rape warning, cause no one gets raped, alec only mentions it in reference to the women Iris kept hostage, so here is a formal trigger warning 
> 
> tw rape mention!
> 
> also, i finally figured out how to work this site, as you can see, the chapters are moved

"You know, you can use the front door Alexander, it's not like you haven't before," said Magnus. "Although, I have to say there's something very romantic about a tall, dark and handsome man climbing up my building to tap on my window," he giggled as he handed Alec a mug of hot tea. Alec blushed.

It was always so effortless with Magnus. Everything Alec did seemed to beguile Magnus, from his lame apology attempts to his grandest, most ridiculous gestures, no matter how weird they were. It was so strange being able to relax and just let himself flow without any restrictions.

Alec put his mug down on the table and reached over to grab Magnus's hands and took them in his own. Magnus looked up at him, eyes glistening with part wonder, part worry. He worries about Alec so much, and Alec wishes he didn't have to worry _him_ —the High Warlock of Brooklyn—like this.

"There was a child. Lots of them, actually, at Iris' house. All warlocks. Iris had been holding mundane women hostage to have these babies—having them _raped_ —" Alec's hands were shaking, his breath was beginning to falter.

He was so disgusted and enraged by what was going on in that house—what he ultimately almost assisted in _happening to Clary_ that he found it hard to calmly bring this subject matter up. Especially to Magnus, because Magnus was born in the same way these children were. He imagined it was a touchy subject.

He looked up at Magnus, who was patiently waiting for him to calm down, his jaw tensed and his Adam's apple bobbing from swallowing his breath. His eyes were pained, but Alec couldn't tell if it was from triggering subject matter or concern.

Alec sighed and continued. "I have a feeling the Clave will inquire if you knew anything about this. I've already told Aldertree there's no way you would have been involved. He still wants to interview you about this, but....that's not what I'm here about."

"Well, what are you here about, darling?" Magnus softly inquires. His voice had cracked at little at 'darling', and Alec was beginning to regret bringing this issue to Magnus in the first place. Magnus rubs his thumb back and forth against Alec's hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm—I'm not good at wording things correctly. I'm really sorry I just—"

"Alexander." Magnus pleaded gently.

"I want to do something to help the warlock children. I didn't know where else to go to find someone who would want to help them. I know you take so many downworlders into your care and I just—I want to help these children. Downworlders or not, they're still children. Who need to be rescued. I figured if we could help these children we might even be able to find Madzie and help her." Alec breathed in sharply, and deeply, relieved he finally spat it out. His hair hung over his eyes and he looked away from Magnus, focusing on their hands.

"Who is Madzie?"

Alec looked up. He didn't even think Magnus would care to ask that, but then again, this is _Magnus Bane_. This is the whole reason why Alec chose to come to him in the first place.  
"Madzie, uh... Madzie is one of the warlock children. Iris was about to-- what I assume—to kill me and she told her not to. Iris said she was her goddaughter and took her when they portalled off. I want to save her from Iris."

Magnus's eyes began to crinkle at the side as a tiny smile spread across his face.

"Well my dear. You've come to the right place. I think it's time we go save some warlock children."

 


	3. Ascension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alec proposes a very important question to magnus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jumping in time here. I noticed online a lot of people were posting samples of their Madzie fics as well. I don't know how many were out there but I imagine we all know Magnus Bane well enough to know how he will react around children, so apologies if this sounds really old and overused I guess?  
> Please note there are also flashbacks, I tried to distinguish them with the 3 dots before and after them.  
> Also I /literally/ LIVE for Golden Magnus so I took it to the next level.
> 
> Also I am not as confident in this chapter as I was the previous two, so please give me your thoughts.

It was a beautiful day outside. Alec laid a picnic blanket out on the grass in front of the institute and propped the baskets down. _Baskets_ —plural—because one was for the picnic he, Magnus, and Madzie were going to be enjoying. The other was a basket of gifts. It's been a month since Madzie was finally rescued from Iris, and a month and a half since Alec had originally asked Magnus to help him find her. It was all very hectic helping Magnus make arrangements for the remaining warlock children left in Iris's wake, and even more so helping the shadowhunters care for and assist the mundane survivors.

Alec hasn't seen Madzie since they first rescued her. Alec has kept in touch with Madzie—who was being cared for by Magnus-- over phone and video chat almost every night—sometimes twice a day. Alec had been unable to see Madzie or take her in for several reasons, the first was that he had been dealing with the clave over the aftermath of mission that was granted to do this. A mission, much to his surprise, without Victor Aldertree, could not have happened. That bastard was full of surprises. Until everything was settled, Alec was not allowed to see her, and therefore wasn't allowed to see Magnus (who, by the way, he still hadn't gone on a first date with. Does this count as a first date?!)

Alec sits down on the blanket, lets stretched out, leaning on his hands. He watched all of the mundanes passing by, partners holding each other closely on a romantic stroll, friends throwing Frisbees back and forth, parents with their children. A slight breeze drew and tickled the back of Alec's neck.

"Darling!! Darling!!" He heard a tiny voice shout in his direction. Alec turns to see Magnus and Madzie strolling towards him, Madzie yanking Magnus to the point of almost falling, but he still managed to look graceful as ever. "Darling!" Madzie called again. She was wearing a matching set of golden cotton capris and a golden cotton long sleeve babydoll shirt underneath a lightweight gold flaked peacoat. Her hair was pulled back into 2 long braided pigtails with glittery gold clips throughout them. Magnus matched her with blonde streaks in his hair (Alec's absolute favorite look on Magnus) and dressed in a glittering gold mandarin collared shirt and white pants. His oxfords were chromatic gold and shinier than any coin you might find in a pirate ship. Madzies shoes were plain white slip ons. Suddenly Alec felt underdressed, but then again compared to Magnus, everyone was.

A huge grin wiped across Alec's face as he got up and ran clumsily towards them, arms outstretched. "Madzie! Hello beautiful!" he chanted as he picked her up and swung her around. Madzie giggled viciously. "You look absolutely bedazzling today Madzie. I brought you some gift,." Alec said as he put her down. "Go check them out." He encouraged. Madzie beamed and galloped towards the picnic blanket and began to disassemble the contents of the basket.

"She hears me call you that on the phone all the time. I haven't had the heart to tell her that _darling_ isn't your name because it sounds so cute." Magnus chuckled. Madzie had gotten a little more vocal since he last saw her; Magnus had done his absolute best to make Madzie comfortable with him. She still only seems to talk to solely the both of them, but in time Alec knows she will relax. Magnus's eyes crinkled up in the corners and his lips turned upwards to create one of the biggest smiles Alec has seen. Alec's heart began to melt like soft serve under Magnus's golden smile. Magnus rolling on the ball of his heels, had his hands grasped firmly behind his back. Alec beamed as he took one of Magnus's hands out from behind him and held it.

"I'd really hate to break her heart. Maybe we should tell her together," he joked, looking back over at Madzie, who was playing with one of the toys Alec got her.

. . . .

He wasn't really sure what kind of toys children liked; he never got any as a child. Clary had had to take him to a store last week to help him shop. "Representation is very important," she declared. "Now, obviously we won't have any luck finding any gilled baby dolls, BUT we can buy a couple of toys and switch some stuff up." Clary grabbed several different types of dolls off of the shelves and threw them in the cart as Alec slowly pushed it down the aisle. "I said help me find a couple of toys, Fray, not buy out the store." Alec grunted.

"Alec, hush, I know what I'm doing." She retorted as she studied each shelf incessantly. They ended up leaving the store with 2 bouncy balls, 2 baby dolls, 4 3 black Barbie dolls and 1 white wizard Barbie (Alec will never understand the unequal amount of skin tones per toy—it's not as if racism doesn't exist in the shadow world, but the concept of a lack of representation among something as simple as toys is so dumbfounding to Alec). Alec also threw some action figures in there for good measure, Izzy's voice ringing in the back of his head: _You know, some girls like to fight too. Or have you forgotten, Big Brother?_ When they got back to the institute, Clary and Alec switched the clothes on the Barbie dolls, and drawing gills on the necks of all of them. Izzy came in and helped Clary braid the hair on all of the dolls. Alec had looked up "traditional black hairstyles" for them to work off of. He didn't know if Madzie would even care, but he didn't want to take any chances of making her feel unloved or unrecognized in any aspect. Alec had been extremely meticulous about getting everything right for today.

. . . .

"Shall we?" Magnus offered, hinting to sit down and join Madzie on the blanker. They motioned over together, hand in hand, and sat down.

"So how do you like your toys?" Alec asked, his eyebrows raised in vibrant anticipation. Madzie looked up at Alec, her eyes glittering. He could see her gills were fluttering excitedly on the side of her neck.  
"I love them Darling. They look just like ME!" She squeaked.

Alec beamed, his cheeks flushing red. He looked up at Magnus, who was also beaming and red as a rose. He'd been smiling that crinkly-eyed smile since they arrived, and Alec couldn't help but silently gush over it.

"Yes, Alexander, you did a marvelous job," Magnus gave Alec's hand a slight squeeze. "I have to admit though, I am very hungry. I spent all morning getting the both of us ready that I forgot to eat."

"Oh, yes, oh my god, yeah, let me get everything." Alec let go of Magnus' hand and pulled the picnic basket over. He began taking out plates and cutlery, followed by all of the food: cucumber sandwiches, fruit salad, and a package of oreos. Alec wasn't sure what really entailed as 'picnic food', but he googled a couple things and had Jace help him put everything together.

....

"Why didn't you ask Clary to do this with you? She's been helping you with everything else. I'm not exactly a cook." Jace had scoffed.  
"Jace, you're my _parabatai_ , that's why," Alec affirmed. "Also, if I had asked Clary, Izzy would have been insulted. I'm not trying to insult my sister, no matter how true it might be that she does _not_ belong in a kitchen."

....

"I'm sorry if this isn't correct or anything, I wasn't really sure but I tried to keep it well rounded" Alec apologized hastily as he began opening up the containers.

"Alec, it looks wonderful. Doesn't it little pumpkin?" Magnus looks at Madzie. "Yes! It looks great. Thank you Darling so much!" She exclaimed, taking a sandwich and putting it on her plate.

"Little pumpkin?" Alec chuckled inquisitively.

"Ah, yes, well....Madzie and I have grown rather fond of each other. Seeing as I've been doting on her for the last month, she's become very much my little pumpkin." Magnus laughed, bobbing his head slightly, as if he was very pleased with the nickname he came up with.

"Well I have no issues with that, especially because I got approved," Alec looked over at Magnus, a flirtatious smirk on his face. Magnus's eyes widened with excitement, his mouth opened into a huge, gleaming smile. "Really? The Clave really went for it?" He raised his hand to his cheek, blushing with pride. "oh, Alexander, I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy for Madzie too." Alec had been pleading with the Clave for weeks to let him adopt Madzie. He knew it was a long shot, but something about her reached into his soul. That's what drove him to find her in the first place. Alec didn't feel comfortable having Madzie under anyone elses care but his.

Well, anyone other than Magnus.

"...under certain conditions, they approved it. Seeing as I live at the institute, and Mads is a warlock, the Clave doesn't believe that it's an appropriate place to raise a downworld child. Which, I have to agree. I can't exactly watch her all day when I'm working, and I can't teach her how to hone and control her skills. So the Clave allowed me to jointly adopt with any downworlder I saw fit to house and care for Madzie along with me of my choosing,"

Alec reached over to the picnic basket and pulled out a thin booklet of papers and handed it to Magnus. "I know we haven't even gone on a date yet, a-and I'm not trying to rush that, I'm not, but...there's only one other person I'd trust my daughter with—and that's with you, Mags." The sound of the word daughter rolled off his tongue, tingling as it left his mouth. Magnus looks down at the booklet, and then up at Alec, holding back tears, the glamour slowly dissolved to show his golden-specked cat eyes.

"Alec... I don't...for once you have me speechless."  
Alec was hit with a pang of anxiety. Did he go too far with this? Maybe the thought of parenting with Alec, a guy he barely knew, was too much? What if he says no? He would never say no, but what would that do to their relationship?

"I'm sorry, I know it's a lot and I'm sure I coul-"  
  


"Darling, did you bring a pen?" Magnus interrupted, a single tear falling towards the tiny smile forming at the corner of his lips.

"Uh, yeah, yeah I did. Hold on," Alec exhaled happily, patting his shirt all over, trying to remember where he put his pen. He reached into his pants pocket and found it, handing it to Magnus. "I wasn't sure if you were going to say yes. I know this is probably really strange. But we can set something up, you can have her stay at your place but on slow days I can bring her to the institute and show her around, play with her. Everyone seems really excited to meet her. I plan to be there as often as possible, I just hope I'm not moving in on your space. Thank you so much Magnus." Alec hadn't been looking at Magnus while he said this. Making eye contact in these kinds of situations was hard for him. But he looked up to see Magnus tediously picking through the fruit salad, eating around the grapes.

"Alec, there is nothing I would want more than to help you raise a warlock child. God only knows you can't do it on your own," he chuckled, looking up at Alec and plopping a cantaloupe piece in his mouth. "Besides, I'm not exactly opposed to you staying the night..." Magnus winked. Alec blushed and looked away. He could feel Magnus's eyes devouring him without needing to see him do it. Alec was often flustered by Magnus's flirtatiousness, but when one of the most attractive men—if not THE most attractive—in the shadow world wants _you_ , it's very hard to not feel flustered.

Alec grabbed a sandwich from the box and took a bite. "How is everything, beautiful?" He asked Madzie, who had been heavily occupied trying to feed one of the bigger baby dolls a sandwich, so it was now all smothered in mayonnaise and dill. She looked up at him and nodded hastily, a huge grin across her face. She began to open her mouth to answer when Magnus interrupted her "My sweet, don't talk with your mouth full. It's not only dangerous, but it's impolite." Madzie nodded and swallowed her bite before exclaiming "It's wonderful," She got up and walked over to Alec and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting herself fall against him. "I'm so glad you're my dad now."

Alec gasped sharply, surprised by the honey smooth tone that came from Madzie saying"dad" in reference to him. He wrapped an arm around her, gently squeezing her. "Yeah, me too."  
  


 


End file.
